First, I'll tell about the downs to show greater contrast to the ups..
Some things about the "MS community" that I've been reading about are quite discouraging. If I read, "I may look okay. But I'm not. I don't want you to think I'm okay." (Why, people?! What's wrong with looking okay?) or "MS is not curable. It's not possible." (aka, "You're screwed; go cry."), one more time, well I don't know what I'll do. But it bothers me. No, MS is not "curable" but that does not mean I should stay stuck in my ways! I will try, try, try, until I can't anymore. We have to rely on the Almighty God for our strength and healing. He may or may not decide to disable my body, but if I trust Him, I will be content.
Also, the heat is getting to me. When I get hot, I get really confused, I drop things all over the place, trip, my left foot drags a little, my legs feel like they weigh about 200 pounds each, and my left eye fogs up. Whenever I'm out in the heat it reminds me that I have MS. I don't like to be reminded of that, especially on a nice summer day.
Treating my MS the way I am (holistically) is not only looked down upon in the mainstream medical community-- it's flippin' expensive. Insurance doesn't cover 9 cups of fruits and vegetables a day and grass fed meat for two people. We're on our own there. Don't get me wrong, my neurologist was very understanding and nice when I told her what I was leaning towards doing. It's just that you tend to feel kind of on your own. Understandably, classically trained doctors don't know too much about natural supplements and whatnot. There's something reassuring about having a doctor to bounce ideas off of and learn from.
Now for the intense answers to prayer:
I've been discouraged about our grocery bill. It's practically doubled for us. Though I'm thankful for the job I have right now, it doesn't cover our grocery bill like it used to. As a result, we aren't as able to help anyone we know who needs help like we have in the past. It feels very self indulgent to use that money on groceries instead. So, one Saturday night when I was feeling low, I prayed that if this is how I was supposed to go about treating my MS that God would make a way.
Literally every week since that Saturday we've received in different ways just enough extra money to pay for our groceries. Every week! It puts a whole new meaning on "saying grace" before we eat. (To be honest, we've never actually done that..) There is no doubt in my mind that the food we eat is provided by God.
I've even had prayers answered that I didn't think to pray. This may seem small and random to you, but it's huge to us. We were running low on food one week, and I wanted to wait at least full week before grocery shopping again. I wanted to buy salmon, but passed it up because it can be pricey. The next day, someone said "Salmon was on sale, so I just decided to buy you guys two pounds of it." How random and cool is that!
This is the most exciting thing to me right now. I found a doctor through a link on Dr. Terry Wahls' website and decided to give him a call and see what he was all about. The receptionist left a message with him and he called me later that night. We talked for a good ten minutes. Unlike a lot of doctors I've seen, he was empathetic and personable. He asked about my life and told me about his. That alone was encouraging to me. He's a board certified physician and has a degree from a reputable med school, which makes me feel comfortable. He told me how he believes in managing the symptoms of MS through nutrition and supplements. He asked what I was doing so far, and I told him I was doing a paleo-type diet. He immediately told me that's a great idea and that his wife is a nutritionist who supports a lot of paleo ideas. He said a lot of times he'll point patients of his over in her direction when they're doing that sort of thing. (I had been wanting to see a nutritionist to make sure I wasn't lacking in any kind of nutrition from this diet, but I knew that conventional nutritionists would shun it.). He also does something called cranial manipulation, which I'm nervous about, but it seems safe and if it can help, I'll try anything. Here's the most wild part of that story:
He asked what doctors website I found his name through and I told him "Dr. Terry Wahls," thinking I'd have to explain her and what she's done for her MS, etc. . . His response? "Oh! Terry?? She and my wife are friends, they talk sometimes." (Seriously! How cool is that? Not only have I found an actually doctor who supports my ideas, but knows the doctor whose stories and information I've been studying so much.
So what have I learned?:
Never doubt God's power and love. I'm blown away by it.
“ For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27
